On bad days

Some days (unfortunately more often than I'd like), I find myself sitting in front of a screen, screaming to myself, "Please! Please! Do something."

Nothing comes out. Not a word, not a line of code, not a character sketch; I don't even read an article from my copious to-read list.

I used to feel bad about that. "What's wrong with me?" I asked myself. I know what to do, I know how, and I know that I want it. I want it more than anything.

But that's one of the bad days. The days when my brain doesn't work. The days when I am washed away by a mild depressive state and a widespread sensation that nothing is worth it.

It is one of those days when the biochemistry of my brain is messed up.

The best way to deal with that is to accept it. I tell myself, "Today is one of those bad days. Tomorrow they will pass." And, like magic, I stop demanding something I cannot do.

This doesn't solve the problem. It doesn't make me write words or code or anything else. But at least I save myself from adding to all that my self-pity. I do not feed the beast.

Yesterday was one of those bad days. Today is not.

Tomorrow, I'll see.